Comments

I know you could kill the Garg, I just found it needlessly frustrating, and I didn't find it worth my time after already playing the rest of the fairly lackluster mod.

-blocky architecture
-boring lighting
-bad gameplay
+you managed to get mortar working
+it's not fullbright

Improve your architecture, make an enviroment which may bring a good gameplay with obstacles, barrels, pipes... something to take cover or hide from the enemy.

Well...there are some quite nice architecture but thats all...
I picked the keycard, opened the door. Don't know how I managed to get myself self locked up in a balcony though... Anyway I found the other key and got into a room with a bath and 2 corpses. Then, there weren't any place to go...You have many bad grammar mistakes btw...very bad.

Alright, first of all, since this is your first map, I believe you should have put it in "unfinished stuff" instead of "completed maps". It strikes me as more of a test map than anything else, and this isn't really what people are looking for when they go through here to download maps.

That's not what matters though. If this is really your first map beyond the simple cube, then you're doing a really really good job. You're definitely getting those entities down, which is obvious from seeing that func_rotating fan, the door with the button, the colored lighting, and the use of the transparent "{" grate texture. Most people get by without using these things for quite a while after they've started mapping. I know I did.

Anyway, you need constructive criticism if you're ever going to improve, not just compliments.

Something you really need to work on is your architecture. Now, I won't stress this too much, since you are a beginner, but this is an area you really need to improve in. You seem competent enough in the basics of it, but you really need to focus on designing something more realistic. This tower thing here, it doesn't have a real-life counterpart, and you can't really tell what it's supposed to be, or what its purpose is. I suppose that's fine for a test map, but if you're looking to move on to better things you'll have to start approaching this in a different manner.

Now, along with architecture, you're going to need to improve your texturing drastically. The ones you've chosen for this map are honestly pretty horrendous. You should never use the same texture you used for the walls on the floor, since not only will it make everything look very redundant, but textures that are made for walls aren't meant to go on floors, and vice versa. Other than that, your choices don't really make any sense. You need to grasp that certain textures are meant for certain places, and while it can be good to improvise, this often times leads to confused looking maps. At least when you begin, you should try and stick to the textures that are meant for what you're trying to do. (Visit http://wadfather.planethalflife.gamespy.com to download other texture packs if you find Half-Life's default textures rather constricting.)

The lighting is something else that got on my nerves. It's good that this wasn't another fullbright catastrophe, but you should always have your light coming from somewhere, instead of just placing light entities everywhere. TWHL has an excellent tutorial on texture lighting. Read that and you'll discover it's much better than what you're using now, since it requires an actual source of the light.

A few other details now (keep in mind that these wouldn't be mere details if this was anything other than a learning map.)

On the door at the bottom of the tower, the button you used was very oversized, and oddly stretched if I remember correctly. Textures should usually never be stretched out of their normal proportions, although they can be evenly upscaled in both directions if you're making large outdoor maps. Anyway, something else you could have done for that button is give it an animated texture. Then, when you pressed the button, the texture would switch to a different one, and the end appearance is quite a bit more appealing than a static texture. It just makes the map feel more alive and interactive.

Another thing I notice that seemed a bit strange was that your ladder used a transparent texture, but you didn't utilize this, so it was just black in the middle. You made the grating on the side of the building transparent, why no this ladder too?

Well, that's all for this time, and I'll give you a rating to offset the horribly unhelpful one that hydeph gave you.

Does anyone have any constructive comments to make, i.e. what could I do to improve the map?

in the arena those rocks sucked because i couldnt hide behind them cuz they were models...and srry you can kill the garg but only w explosives...and the mod was ok, actualy im working on one right now and coincidently you start out in a room and its raining outside and you have to break a window w a crow bar to get out. Thow the mod was ok it realy made like no sense and on my comp. it was very laggy but hey it killed some time so ill give you that:)

Thanks. I was planning on having the lasers moving around by targeting func_trains on either side of the door, but I couldn't get that to work, so I just settled for the next best thing.

Ill have to admit, that from pressing the button so much, I completly fucked up this door, so maby a longer wait before reseting the button will make it better. Overall the door was pretty interesting, sort of a dull area around it, but the door matters more, such as I liked the part where when the door goes down and it gets closed up in the ground. Some things could have been added more, but its still pretty good, 4*'s for a still good try.

Anyways, somthing not in black mesa sort of made it more interesting, but now about the door. I didnt look at the RMF, but im guessing you had to use Env_renders and made some parts of the doors Not Solid, cause the spinning lock made me think of a render. The best part of this door was... basicly itself, cause each setup for the door had somthing differnt to it, and even those lasers to, even though they just sat there. 5 *'s for a good lock up of that... xen crystal.

This transit door made me think you were in a lower area of black mesa, reason why, is its dark, the doors have concrete fall from them, a great supply of Env_shake, and differnt parts of the door move differnt ways. The only thing I didnt like about this is the 2 parts of the door where 1 goes up the other down, they have a door moveing noise, but the noise is so short that then it goes silent, but its not to much, 5*'s anyways.

I thought this was a good idea, I havent looked at all entrys yet, but this was pretty interesting. Probably the part I liked the most was the unusualy strang look when you fiirst see the door, and the 4 clamps for the door, but its sort of hard to see the 2 clamps inside the doors.
5 *'s since the door I made on FF is nothing as interesting as this.

oh thank god, and I just finished downloading (falls asleep)

That was incredibly helpful.

Give him some feedback or something and don't be an asshole.

ouch!! your map have add player problem. All trrorist die when game started.

24 player oh..i wish can play 32 player...sob sob

You edit my map?
A better description would help. A lot.

I Don't Move Examples Maps ERROR !

This looks like an example map to me.

lol this sucks noob lol

You really shouldn't release maps like this.

Skill.cfg?
That's sooooo self-explanitory. ;>

Unfortunately I can't play your map, but tinyurl that link. It's breaking the page.

Latvian? My Country Got to download

Yes the screen shot is in the Zip file, it's a BMP wich is why I didnt put it up.

As far as i'm concerned there is NO rule concerning first maps. This is a place to learn, isn't it?

=P the fact that makes me shocked, is that there is someone from my country mapping

They layout is good. but as i said. i didn't really enjoy it....

If you doesn`t understand plese use Russian-English Dictoniary. Or tell me i translate you =)

In the Zip. If not then oh well.

Astounding, I can't believe this computer runs it at full fps. For some reason I spent more time trying to scale the door than looking at the map...

[borat]Vary nice![/borat]

Well I finished it, the end was a little anti-climatic. As I said before, the architecture isn't too strong, but it was entertaining to play.

I don't know what it was about this mod, but I enjoyed it, good work.

thanks for all your guys comments , yes mabye some ppl do not post there first maps but i like to hear whats wrong with my map and how i can fix it so the next map i make can be better so thank you.

i agree with srry, but i doubt this is actually a first map. I believe "first real map" or however it's phrased is the proper term for maps like these.

After all, aren't most actual FIRST maps the cube from the in the beginning tutorials, filled with stupidly numerous monsters? i know mine was =]

Anyways, regarading the map itself - you're showing some clear potential.

Actually mcmitcho srry is right. You never ever ever ever ever ever ever ever etc. POST YOUR FIRST MAP. JUST NO. Unless your first map is better than deliciously great, you just don't.

Thanks Ghetto. It's still very much a WIP. But i'll take what advice is given.
What do you think about the layout. That's why i released the map so bare.

It's a generally accepted rule, not something I came up with. I didn't know anybody disagreed. :

Fuck up srry. This is a beginner site, so he can get feed back for his first map. Back on topic, you just have to move on from under-detailed one hour maps, people wanna see something impressive, you should line up your brush work and vary the textures, fix up that glass too. Also fix the ladders appearance. It's not a bad start, you are already learning about some useful entities. I won't give you a star because it wouldn't be justice, this being your first map and all.

You shouldn't ever upload your first map. Ever. Train in private first.

I checked out your map. its OK but i think it still needs to go a long way to finish.

+ You got a health charger there.
+ Many good guns.

- Nothing interesting there! the same textures over and over again.
- Most parts of the map are dark. maybe more lights?
- No HEV charger
- There is nothing wrong with the windows, but maybe make them breakable?
- No props!!!!

i say you use more than those textures. and also put in loads of props

Yeah, I managed to get into the room with the busted stairs, but no further. I'll have a good look in there tonight.

After you get the key in the library you should be able to open the door to the right after you get of the elevator.

I'm stuck, I just picked up the key on the table in the library, monsters came, and now I can't get into any more doors. Please PM me with a solution (anyone). :>

I like what i've seen so far, even though the mapping is not that great. Some parts are too blocky, or have some odd texture usage, but the mod is entertaining enough to overlook it.

The icky scare got me good, and I love how you pulled of the looping hallway! Toggleable wall?

Anyway, i'll keep trying to figure this out tonight.

Whoah.

This is great. I really enjoyed it. Almost every part of it impressed me. A synopsis:

+ intro is great

+ Like the font

+ All of the ambient sound is awesome, and really adds to the experience. Very, very good indeed!

+ Impressively surreal. Which I love. Expect the unexpected. I was so very impressed with your obviously very tight entity setup, which led to so many bizarre happenings on my screen.

+ Some areas are really strikingly beautiful.

+ The endless corridor. Please tell me how you did that. Please. Pleeeeeeeeeease!!!!

+ Although there were several points where I was scratching my head for a few minutes, I did not have to resort to noclipping to progress.

+ Difficulty was good. It was easy but felt rewarding nontheless. The hardest balance to achieve. Well done. I died only once, and I really deserved it, let me tell you.

+ / - The architecture is great in several places. Other places are very plain --- but the excellent gameplay and ambience cover this up a lot. I had to go into really picky mode to really notice. The cave near the end is where the blockiness is most obvious.

+ / - Some bits are a bit too black. There are a lot of pitch black doors which would look better if they were lit just a little tiny bit. But, I know how hard this is to do. This is one of the best night-time setups I've ever seen. So well done.

- The nodegraph for the first map wasn't built

- The game didn't end, it just faded out and stayed there. I swung my crowbar at the blackness for about 5 minutes just in case you put something else in. But then I gave up.

- There was one point, just after the first loading point, where I came up against a big invisible wall right across a corridor where I should really have been able to go. That was a bit crap.

This is great work. There is room for improvement, but I am still rating it 5 stars for how it is now.

MORE!

When you kill enough enemies the doors will unlock in the court yard area.

Unfortunately I couldn't find a way to nitpick without being quite specific. :S

I understand. What I really meant was that lighting in a horror map can be used for more than just letting the player see. I know Source doesn't have real time lighting (which would open up a whole field of work in this genre, such as dynamic shadows moving around), so it's kind of hard.
Also, I had to noclip out of some places, as I had no idea what I had to do to move on. For example, the outside courtyard with the 'moon' and the monster coming out of the side halls...

Will not all the materials were from the original HL2, I did pull some texture from Counter Strike: Source and some models.

The dark areas are hard to balance because on some monitor its not dark at all, and some monitors its impossible to see, but ill work on it.