Journals
10/25/94
My audio input just assaulted my audio output. 
A change of environment, a change of life style. Or better said, a total mess of a program that puts me through high amounts of stress and almost caused me to have emotional breakdowns.
College started.
I have waited enthusiastically for the moment college will start. I was gladly expecting some fun in the experimentation of a new medium. Seems like it isn't so... Seems like I need a longer period so I can accommodate.
It wouldn't be such a big problem if it wasn't for the college schedule.
Which is a total brainfuck. In space as it is in time. The classes are not held in buildings gathered in a campus. They're spread across different buildings in the city. You have to walk a lot if you want to save some money.( one "famous" seminar is held at ~8 km away, of course you take the bus, but still...).
Add that to the fact that we have day in the week with 10 hours of math&physics. Because the building is not close to the dormitories, you don't even have time to take a humane break.
When the fuck should I even have time to study, besides the period before exams? The only way I seem to be able to study is being attentive to the courses, and that way I can manage some seminars. But there are some that I've lost track of, and I seriously can't find a calm period to study.
To be sincere, all of the above would be in the limits of coping. Add to that the fact that before summer I started experiencing anxiety. I can not describe you how awful this is. And it is unscrupulous. It can strike either gradually, either spontaneously- in the form of "scumbag brain"- "Hey, you seem to be too calm. Let's make things a bit more turbulent, shall we?". One needs to develop skills of fighting against it, in a passive way( not actually focusing on the problem).
The chaos of the fucked up schedule mixed with the unpleasant waking-up hours, coupled with city life, can induce anxiety feelings that are disabling. You just feel the need of fleeing from where you are, going home... It induces the fear that you have medical problems and that you will pass out. It really tends to do this when I'm away...
I really need to get a hold of myself.
* end of frustration vent
College started.
I have waited enthusiastically for the moment college will start. I was gladly expecting some fun in the experimentation of a new medium. Seems like it isn't so... Seems like I need a longer period so I can accommodate.
It wouldn't be such a big problem if it wasn't for the college schedule.
Which is a total brainfuck. In space as it is in time. The classes are not held in buildings gathered in a campus. They're spread across different buildings in the city. You have to walk a lot if you want to save some money.( one "famous" seminar is held at ~8 km away, of course you take the bus, but still...).
Add that to the fact that we have day in the week with 10 hours of math&physics. Because the building is not close to the dormitories, you don't even have time to take a humane break.
When the fuck should I even have time to study, besides the period before exams? The only way I seem to be able to study is being attentive to the courses, and that way I can manage some seminars. But there are some that I've lost track of, and I seriously can't find a calm period to study.
To be sincere, all of the above would be in the limits of coping. Add to that the fact that before summer I started experiencing anxiety. I can not describe you how awful this is. And it is unscrupulous. It can strike either gradually, either spontaneously- in the form of "scumbag brain"- "Hey, you seem to be too calm. Let's make things a bit more turbulent, shall we?". One needs to develop skills of fighting against it, in a passive way( not actually focusing on the problem).
The chaos of the fucked up schedule mixed with the unpleasant waking-up hours, coupled with city life, can induce anxiety feelings that are disabling. You just feel the need of fleeing from where you are, going home... It induces the fear that you have medical problems and that you will pass out. It really tends to do this when I'm away...
I really need to get a hold of myself.
* end of frustration vent
So I've got one Dota2 and one Planetside2 beta key, anyone interested?
Crappy birthday to me,
crappy birthday to me,
now I'm off to the office,
crappy birthday to me...
(Overslept too...)
crappy birthday to me,
now I'm off to the office,
crappy birthday to me...
(Overslept too...)
It pays to learn how to touch-type:
I am planning to teach my five-year-old son how to touch-type.
I am so happy.
Defying Gravity
Since i doubt there will be a manned exploration of the galaxy(or even the solar system) in my lifetime, i'll have to settle for Defying Gravity.
In the near future, an international space association will launch an 11-trillion-dollar mission to explore our solar system. Complete with tons of weepy/whiny dialogue and sex, this is basically a soap opera in space. That said it has a very high production value for sets and props and effects, so i still really enjoy it.
The ship, Antares is equipped to provide the crew of 8 with food/water, atmoshpere, and artificial gravity for the 6-year tour of solar system.
I'm starting the eleventh episode now, and i hope they will finally show the Venus lander they keep talking about...
Since i doubt there will be a manned exploration of the galaxy(or even the solar system) in my lifetime, i'll have to settle for Defying Gravity.
In the near future, an international space association will launch an 11-trillion-dollar mission to explore our solar system. Complete with tons of weepy/whiny dialogue and sex, this is basically a soap opera in space. That said it has a very high production value for sets and props and effects, so i still really enjoy it.
The ship, Antares is equipped to provide the crew of 8 with food/water, atmoshpere, and artificial gravity for the 6-year tour of solar system.
I'm starting the eleventh episode now, and i hope they will finally show the Venus lander they keep talking about...
Night gathers, and now my watch begins. It shall not end until my death. I shall take no wife, hold no lands, father no children. I shall wear no crowns and win no glory. I shall live and die at my post. I am the sword in the darkness. I am the watcher on the walls. I am the fire that burns against the cold, the light that brings the dawn, the horn that wakes the sleepers, the shield that guards the realms of men. I pledge my life and honor to the Night's Watch, for this night and all nights to come.
Just took a call from a guy in Houston, Texas who seemed a bit up himself. Can any of the yanks in the local area just pop in and sort him out. Cheers.
4 things i resisted using in hammer editor, and now i use them all the time:
Ctrl+e
Centers your 2d views on a selcted object(usually from the 3d view). Irreplaceable on a big/complex map.
QuickHide selected/unselected
Radio buttons next to the visgrouping ones, that temporarily hide selected or unselected objects. Again, great big/complex maps, specifically for quickly sorting out visual clutter in the 3d/orthograpic views, so you can more easily see what you are working on.
Paste Special
Pastes on the direct coordinates of the copied object. Great for reproducing multiple, off-grid stuff you could never otherwise align properly, because it's in-between gridpoints.
Cordon Tool and Cordon Compile
Isoloates an entire area from the editable/viewable area of the map(sort of like QuickHide, but for a whole area, not objects. Great for reducing your compile time for a specific area, and reducing editor lag for a busy map.
Ctrl+e
Centers your 2d views on a selcted object(usually from the 3d view). Irreplaceable on a big/complex map.
QuickHide selected/unselected
Radio buttons next to the visgrouping ones, that temporarily hide selected or unselected objects. Again, great big/complex maps, specifically for quickly sorting out visual clutter in the 3d/orthograpic views, so you can more easily see what you are working on.
Paste Special
Pastes on the direct coordinates of the copied object. Great for reproducing multiple, off-grid stuff you could never otherwise align properly, because it's in-between gridpoints.
Cordon Tool and Cordon Compile
Isoloates an entire area from the editable/viewable area of the map(sort of like QuickHide, but for a whole area, not objects. Great for reducing your compile time for a specific area, and reducing editor lag for a busy map.
Forgot to post this this morning, but last night I had my first unpleasant episode of SP ever.
So I got home late last night after a get-together with friends. It was about 2:30 AM by the time I got into bed and went to sleep, and I expect this had something to do with it.
When I woke up, it was still lightless out, my limbs were all stiff, and I saw (or rather perceived) the pitch-black silhouette of a man in a trench coat and a large fedora in my doorway. As he slowly and silently walked towards me, I squeezed my eyes shut in terror, then promptly remembered everything Soup Miner has ever said on the topic of Sleep Paralysis. I strained my arm muscles to point my hand towards the door, and gave my hallucination the finger.
So I got home late last night after a get-together with friends. It was about 2:30 AM by the time I got into bed and went to sleep, and I expect this had something to do with it.
When I woke up, it was still lightless out, my limbs were all stiff, and I saw (or rather perceived) the pitch-black silhouette of a man in a trench coat and a large fedora in my doorway. As he slowly and silently walked towards me, I squeezed my eyes shut in terror, then promptly remembered everything Soup Miner has ever said on the topic of Sleep Paralysis. I strained my arm muscles to point my hand towards the door, and gave my hallucination the finger.
I already posted a link in the Gaming thread but here is just a little explanation. If you've ever read the Living in Oblivion blog by Chris Livingston (author of the Concerned HL2 comic) you should get the grasp of this fairly quickly.
I have started out in the world of Skyrim, completely avoiding the main questline or any other adventurous outing and instead I am looking to make my fortune in other ways. Ways such as alchemy, hunting, fishing etc. If I need to travel I will do so on foot, no fast travelling and no cart hiring. This makes things incredibly dangerous for a man with no weapons, dressed in rags. Day one was pretty successful but has left me with few options for day two, meaning I will most likely have to travel further into the wilderness. This terrifies me.
You can read the blog here
You don't need to sign up to wordpress to post a comment so please do if you enjoy reading it or even if you don't. It would be most appreciated.
I have started out in the world of Skyrim, completely avoiding the main questline or any other adventurous outing and instead I am looking to make my fortune in other ways. Ways such as alchemy, hunting, fishing etc. If I need to travel I will do so on foot, no fast travelling and no cart hiring. This makes things incredibly dangerous for a man with no weapons, dressed in rags. Day one was pretty successful but has left me with few options for day two, meaning I will most likely have to travel further into the wilderness. This terrifies me.
You can read the blog here
You don't need to sign up to wordpress to post a comment so please do if you enjoy reading it or even if you don't. It would be most appreciated.
26 today!
Things which have happened since I last posted.
Finished my 3 year Music Tech college course.http://www.moddb.com/members/alexwilliams
Learned to model.
Got better at playing the drums.
Learned to drive.
Started working freelance creating 3D models.
Started University (now on my second year)
Got drunk.